Aging is a normal process of living. Regardless of the number of changes made to the structure of the body via plastic surgery and new joints, the body systems and organs still carry the years of use with them. While each of us ages in a different way, modern science has not been able to reverse the changes of aging for any of us.
The changes that cause families to worry and lose sleep over their aging loved ones are most often healthcare or medically related. Other life changes occur simultaneously, but the changes that lead to the senior’s change of living situation are related to deterioration in functional ability of the brain or the body.
Two of the most common occurrence that lead the family to make the decision about the senior’s safety are falls and changes in memory. Both of these outcomes are often hidden from the family for substantial periods of time. The senior or spouse may be able to cover for the memory loss. The senior may not tell about the falls they have been having until they experience a fracture.
The decision about change for the senior is one of the most difficult decisions a family must make. The autonomy and independence of the senior are highly sought after criteria for the family and the senior. We have family rolls that we are taught from birth by our family structure and culture. Breaking those rules is very stressful for everyone involved. We often make promises as we proceed through our lives and now some of those promises may need to be broken. The mother may have asked her teenage daughter to promise she would not place her in a nursing home when she is old. The life the mother and daughter have today is not the same as at the time of the promise, yet both remember this promise. Even if the mother has dementia and is no longer able to remember the promise, the daughter does. She feels like she is failing her mother, even though she is exhausted herself trying to be true to her mother’s wishes. Life is constant change and every promise made cannot be kept.
When the senior has aged and has multiple medical conditions and issues, there is nothing to be done to reverse all of those changes. The primary role of those of us who work with seniors is that of safety. Safety includes not only physical safety such as fall preventions, it also includes medication safety, emotional safety and financial safety. All aspects of the seniors life needs to be explored for issues that can lead to their demise or failure due to unsafe circumstances.