Just because an individual has dementia does not mean that they have to stay home and not participate in the festivities. Here are some ways to help the senior and the family maintain the joy and sharing of the holiday season.
1. Build current celebrations on past or historical traditions. Things like baking cookies, making candy, wrapping gifts, singing carols, telling stories and reminiscing are all ways to include the individual with dementia in the holidays. Familiar smells, sights, and sounds will often trigger moments of clarity. It does not matter if the gift is wrapped to perfection or if it is wrapped in plain brown paper, it is the thought, and the tradition of sharing that is important.
2. Maintain the routine for the individual with dementia or cognitive impairment. Disruptions in life are difficult to cope with when one has memory impairment. Sleep and rising times should be kept as stable as possible to offset day-night confusion. Familiar clothing is comforting. Activities of daily living should remain as consistent as possible.
3. Watch for increased behaviors due to disruption of routine and unusual people and surroundings. The senior with dementia has lost executive function and is not able to react and respond to change. Nor are they able to integrate the change into their lives. They may react with frustration, anger, verbal aggressiveness or physical aggressiveness. When this happens acutely, remove them from the situation and take them to a quiet area so they can regain their composure. If they cannot be settled, it may be necessary to physically remove them from the setting and not allow them to participate. Remember that they are not able to tell you their fears and problems. It is for us to recognize them and protect them.
4. The holiday season is filled with excitement, but it can also be stressful. This stress is not only for the senior with dementia but the family as well. If you are a caregiver, make sure that you take respite time for yourself. Have a cup of coffee with a friend. Read a book or magazine. Sleep in. Invite a trusted friend or hire a caregiver to come to your home so you can have some private time or time shared with friends.
5. The patience of a Saint is required for a caregiver and the holiday season exacerbates the need for patience. Most of us do not have this physical or emotional ability and anger, frustration, loneliness and irritability that is part of the season. Old patterns of life and behavior are no longer viable, and it is depressing to have to let go. Fear of future is always near. Be patient with yourself and the person you are a caregiver for. Take a deep breath and prioritize the challenge. Does it make a difference in the scope of life for the individual with dementia and you? Most times we can find an alternative that is equally efficacious and regains our composure and patience. If you are so impatient that you want to strike out, step away from the situation briefly. Call a friend, pray, talk to yourself, use yoga or stretching to relieve the pressure.
6. Go out to eat and enjoy the experience. Some individuals will not understand the why of this celebration, but that is theirs to deal with. Acknowledging that the senior with dementia has some disability frees you from their judgment. By showing the courage, love and attention to your family member, you are demonstrating the real meaning of the holidays.
The short time we have to share with each other and acceptance of each of us with our frailties. Celebrate life! The holiday season is even more challenging when one has a family member or loved one with dementia. Allow yourself the peace of mind that everything does not have to be perfect. Contact us if you have any particular concerns or worries about the holidays.