Anyone who has ever cared for a sick child, friend or spouse understands the concept of caregiver fatigue. Being a mother with a sick child means missing valuable sleep and still getting up to go to work the next day. It is a consequence of loving someone and tending to their needs when they are unable to care for themselves. We do not except anything in return for this care.
Missing sleep occasionally to care for a loved one can be exhausting. Now consider the caregiver who has this stress on a daily basis for weeks, months or years. Even if you live at a distance and are not delivering on-site care, you are still a caregiver and experience the stress of not being there or not being able to help like you might wish you could.
Lack of sleep due to constant vigilance most certainly causes fatigue. However, something that is of even more significance is the long standing stress of the day in and day out responsibilities of being a caregiver. Our body produces stress hormones for us to either stand and fight or run away. This is called “fight or flight.” Care giving results in constant, ongoing stress. We never have a break from the feeling of stress, and our body’s reaction to the prolonged stress is often illness. We are not able to fight infection, we become irritable, we get depressed, we disconnect from our social community, we can have heart and blood pressure issues and we forget to take our own medications. We are not robots. We are humans with a frail human body that needs rest and rejuvenation. What will happen to the loved one if the caregiver gets sick? Who will fill those care giving shoes?
Care giving is a loving, difficult job, but it is also very rewarding. Do not ignore the symptoms of caregiver fatigue in yourself, friends and family. You are not a failure if you ask for help and admit you cannot do it all by yourself. Keep in contact with family, friends and other people who can feed your own needs. Take care of your physical and emotional health so that you can continue on your care giving journey. Care managers can be a resource for you to utilize by helping you to identify and organize a system for your peace of mind and the well being of your loved one so that you can get time away.