Yes, we are all sexual beings and crave intimacy. Those needs do not disappear because we have dementia or cognitive impairment. The need for intimacy is a part of our human nature.
Often families struggle with a loved one who is institutionalized and is seen holding hands, snuggling or spooning with another resident who is not their spouse. The family, spouse or significant other may see this behavior as abnormal and a challenge to the relationship with the long standing partner. They may become angry or upset that their loved one is no longer demonstrating monogamous behavior. As the team caring for and about the individual, we see this as appropriate behavior that is comforting and helping the individual with dementia get their intimacy needs met. We know that the individual with dementia can no longer articulate their needs, and non-verbal and behavioral demonstrations are often the only way for them to communicate.
The individual with dementia has memory impairment. They may not even recognize their spouse, child, significant other or family. They are simply acting on meeting their needs for intimacy and belonging. This behavior is not an affront to their long standing relationship. Rather, it is a demonstration of the strength of that relationship. The individual is craving the intimacy of touch and caring that they have experienced in their long standing relationship but have lost due to their disease.
Discussions about sexuality are often topics that are difficult to discuss in our society.When dementia tests these unspoken beliefs and feelings, the response may be discomfort and upset. Talking to a counselor or therapist can help a person to deal with understanding and coping with these feelings. Allowing the individual with dementia to act on their intimacy needs in a safe way is important to their quality of life.