While waiting in the lobby area of a memory care facility to see one of my patients, a female resident was delivered to the area by a phyiscal therapy staff member. The staff member walked the resident to a chair, sat her down and walked away. The resident was crying when she arrived in the lobby and not one staff member, including the therapy staff member, responded to her tearfulness. I was most concerned so approached two "nursing" staff standing in the area to to ask them about this resident. The two staff who were standing and texting on their phones in a position adjacent to the resident and she was in full line of sight. They told me, "She always does that. There is nothing to be worried about". They did not even offer her a tissue. Her nose was running and tears were flowing down her face. I walked over to her, sat beside her, held her hand and talked to her softly. She stopped crying and looked at me unable to verbalize her feelings. She clung to my hand and would not let go. Her face was so sad, but she could not tell me what was wrong.
Individuals with dementia who are crying are expressing their feelings. The tears were the way that this woman used to demonstrate some feelings that she was unable to articulate. Was she depressed? Was she cold? Did she have pain? Was she frightened? Was she lost? Was she hungry? The tears were her attempt to communicate a need which not one of the staff were concerned about.
Observing the actions of other resident and staff interaction and response is telling. If the staff are not responding to the needs of a resident other than your loved one, you can anticipate that they are not responding to the needs of your family member or friend. Advocate for these seniors who are not able to speak for themselves. Bring these kinds of situations to the management team at the faclity and suggest that these are opportunites for improvement in their facility. At the least there is an opportunity for training.
It broke my heart to see this woman's obvious need be dismissed. And the fact that this was recurrent behavior was even more disconcerting.