Mon. 30th Oct. 2017
Prejudices come in all shapes and sizes, and the negative judgments that come with these beliefs isolate and undermine. Ageism is one of these prejudices. Often these prejudiced beliefs are below the radar screen and are not even recognized by the individuals that hold them.
American society is a society of youth at all costs. We often try to maintain our youth with treatments under the medical umbrella. We do tummy tucks, facelifts, liposuction, and Botox to mention a few. Several years ago, a road sign in a major metropolitan area noted that we should start our plastic surgery in our 30s that way we would not need so much done in our 50s!
As a geriatric nurse, advocate, and navigator, societal ageism is seen on many fronts. The nursing students that shadow me tell me that the patients that I serve are “cute,” “sweet” and “adorable.” They learn quickly that these are not acceptable ageism comments. We are serving adults with 80, 90 and 100 years of autonomy, independence, and dignity and they deserve this respect the rest of their life span.
One care manager told me that she likes it when others working with her mother tell her that her mother is cute. Her mother is upset when this happens, but the daughter is not able to see her own prejudiced beliefs.
As a care manager, I often help families find institutional living settings for their family members who are no longer safe at home. A common retort by the assisting living marketing person is that they “would not mind living in their community because it is so beautiful”. My response is, “would you still consider this a positive experience if you had to give up your home, give up your car, depend on a bus that runs on its schedule, not yours, give you many of your treasured belongings, eat with strangers and eat food that is institutional.” These marketers often are speechless and unable to respond to my simple query.
Ageism is real and very distressing to those of us who are seniors. This prejudice is just as inappropriate as those of race, religion, and ethnicity. Remember that the next time you are confronted with negative feedback about aging and help set the record straight.