As a dementia provider for more than 30 years, there have been many experiences with patients or residents that have left my mouth aghast. The following scenario demonstrates one of those times that I remember, smile and that keeps me going when I have had a stressful day with a senior with dementia.
Trudy was a retired nurse with dementia. The facility she lived in was built to allow Trudy to walk safely. This need to move is common in many people with dementia. Trudy would walk with her head down, and her fingers entwined and in a fist. She was not aggressive, but if you did not move out of her way, she would run into you. She would approach the medication carts, grab them and shake them vigorously. No harm was done, but this seemed to fulfill a need that she had.
I was about to leave work as the Director of Nursing in a nursing facility, and before I left, I made final rounds. Polly was one of the evening nurses, and she and I stood and watched Trudy approach. Polly was eight months pregnant. Trudy approached us, we spoke her name, and for once she raised her head and looked at us. She approached Polly, separated her hands and gently laid her hands on Polly’s pregnant belly. She looked up at Polly and with a big smile said “A baby, you are going to have a baby.” Polly and I stood with our mouths open. Immediately after this interchange, Trudy walked away with her head down.
This was a gift from Trudy to Polly and me. We spoke of this experience many times, and when I think about it today, I remember Trudy with a smile on my face. Polly and I saw Trudy for a few seconds and what a gift to cherish forever.
If you are a caregiver, you have stories like these, too. Remember them as moments when you were part of the person with dementia’s life. These times become rarer as the brain of the person with dementia changes. Watch for them and treasure them.
Please contact me and let me know your most precious moment of connecting with your loved one with dementia.