Mon. 19th Mar. 2018
One of the most challenging issues in dealing with someone with dementia is the loss of the ability to communicate. Communication is not only verbal but nonverbal as well. As the brain deteriorates, it doesn't understand the spoken word and it is also unable to decode gestures, facial clues and they often have lost their social and cultural boundaries.
Some rules of the road:
- Do not try to have a rational conversation with someone who has dementia. They have lost their higher executive function. They cannot process information regardless of how simple. Their brain is ailing and simply does not have the capacity it used to have. Simple, one-step directions, longer processing time and gentle cues can help optimize mental functions.
- Do not be embarrassed or upset when the senior says or does something that is out of the norm for a “politically correct” adult. Remember that dementia is a brain disease. A brain that is not functioning correctly cannot provide the framework of adult thinking and processing. They cannot come to where you are so you MUST go to where they are.
- Don’t expect more than they can deliver. Dementing diseases are chronic, deteriorating and deadly conditions. There are no cures, and there is no turning back or improving. Each day will be different and false hopes do not make the underlying condition go away. Help the senior find ways to stay intact that are small in scope compared to their earlier life. Drying one dish may be all that they can do, but allow them to sit at the kitchen table and dry that one dish.
- Be patient. Imagine what it must be like to see the world around you and not understand it. Strangers approach you and call you by name, but you do not know them. Strangers ask you to disrobe and bathe, and you do not know if you can trust them. People approach you and take your clothes off, and you have always been a very private person.
Individuals with dementia, regardless of the cause, are strangers in their own world. They often are not able to understand what is happening to them. It must be very fear-inducing, yet they are not able to understand and to protect themselves. Read the clues that the person with dementia gives and try to understand their world rather than yours. If you are struggling to communicate with your loved one, please contact me for more support.